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shakedown, nineteen seventy-nine
6th-Jan-1979 01:26 am(no subject)

Rudwicks and Henley found and Suspect Named
After a long search, the Rudwicks and Henley were found behind a Muggle fast food chain.
By Jimmy Plant

6 March 1979

A Ministry Obliviation team showed up in Yorkshire yesterday afternoon to investigate a display of magic, and they found more than what they bargained for. Lo and behold, behind the restaurant with the large yellow arch, within the metal rubbish disposal, there were wizard robes and splintered wands. These belonged to destroyed bodies on the inside, maimed almost beyond recognition by what can only be assumed to be Death Eaters.

A beautiful girl, with glowing blonde hair, shimmering blue eyes, rosy red cheeks, and an air to her that made her glimmer with perfection, found the bodies and tarnished them even further that afternoon. “I didn’t know what was happening to me,” she proclaimed, her voice like wind chimes clattering in the air. Her voice was breathless as she pressed her back, sore from a day’s work, against the white painted brick wall of the establishment. “It was disturbing.” Before she could say more, Obliviator Zoë Dobbs removed her memory, destroying the destructive moments in the girl’s mind.

“I have never seen anything like this,” Dobbs said. When she spoke, her chin lifted high into the air, brown strands of hair fluttering above her eyelids. “Maimed like that.” She went on to explain the markings on one of the arms. It looked like a why, but it was burnt way, flayed as if it was barbequed. If anything, the Death Eaters could have intended them for cooking, and it would not be surprising.

Otis and Myrna Rudwick, as well as Martin Henley, were abducted later in the afternoon on 1 October. Their lives were stolen right from their places by the destructive Death Eaters. Bartemius Crouch said, with a lofty voice and age lines in his face that only added to his attractive nature, that, “I’m sure it’s a Travers. The description fit someone from that family.” Although not as archaic as some families in the wizarding world, the Travers have gained a reputation for their business trades with India. Their ability to acquire eastern magical goods has heralded in a renaissance for the east, covered with spicy scents and a newfound recognition of wizarding cultures aside from those available in the West.

These circumstances are truly tragic, harmful occurrences in the wizarding world that tear lives apart and add unnecessary adventure. It seems that the stains left by the Death Eaters, bloodied and evil, will remain until Crouch’s activities become truly successful.

2nd-Mar-1979 05:01 am(no subject)

Head of Department of International Affairs Abducted and Presumed Dead
Death Eaters strike the Ministry of Magic once again.
By Helen Marigolden

2 March 1979

Yesterday evening, the protecting force failed to protect the Ministry of Magic once again as one of the members, Otis Rudwick, was found missing soon after leaving the grounds of the Ministry. His wife, Myrna, and his assistant, Martin Henley, were also found missing not long after the initial reports.

The attack on the Ministry is presumed to have been done in two sweeps. Rudwick and his wife were first found missing. Henley was taken from the atrium in a violent battle that ended in the losses of two Ministry employees’s lives. These employees were Samuel Baker and Megan Harper. They were janitors at the Ministry of Magic, and said to put in their best efforts. A memorial already has a place outside the bathroom they used during their long work days.

This is the first attack in the Ministry in over a month by the Death Eaters. Their last attack ended in the abduction and rescue of Balthazar Crouch by Frank Longbottom. After his previous success with saving individuals from the Death Eaters, Bartemius Crouch has made every effort to end out Longbottom on this case. ‘He’s the best for this mission,’ said Crouch.

Rudwick has been with the Ministry of Magic since he left Hogwarts 35 years ago. He worked very hard to obtain his position. His wife, Myrna, was with the Ministry even longer, and has been a very large proponent in keeping the Department of International Cooperation organised. Henley has been out of Hogwarts for 10 years, but was a remarkable addition to the Ministry of Magic at a time when many believed starting businesses, families, or avoiding the government was a positive attribute. His joining before the time of Frank Longbottom, which shows dedication on its own, but he undoubtedly stayed for him.

The Death Eaters appeared relatively unharmed as they escaped the premises of the Ministry of Magic. Despite the increased permissions to use Unforgivable courses by members of the Ministry outside of the Auror Corps, this does not seem to have changed. Crouch has reported that he has every intention to increase the intensity of his trainings.

14th-Feb-1979 09:26 am(no subject)

Frank Longbottom is Single
After some debate, the truth is revealed in time for Valentine’s Day.
By Ripley Jones

14 February 1979

The debate over Auror Frank Longbottom’s virtue and chastity was up in the air for some time after lists circulated about women he had been with, as well as rumours that he was not all that he seemed. However, Bartemius Crouch and Minister of Magic Eustace C Ehg clearly stated that the famous Auror is, in fact, single, and pursuing nothing more than a professional career as an Auror.

The debate started several years ago and Longbottom himself never said anything on the debate, but the rumours flew all the same. As of late, the rumours have been more intense. There have been pictures of him in multiple publications about his relationships with dark haired women and the parents of students at Hogwarts. The dark haired women have been rumoured to be co-workers, as well as the budding Auror, Alice Statham, who works in the office with Longbottom and occasionally on the field. Her aptitude is said to be impressive, but Longbottom often saves her in times of strife.

“Frank Longbottom is a close friend of mine,” said Minister Ehg on Monday evening. “I know him better than anyone and he would not put the wizarding world in danger by pursuing multiple intimate relationships. If he were in one, he would only be in one, and he is not in one at all.” Bartemius Crouch reiterated the same statement, further saying that “Frank Longbottom is a respectable human being and would not put any woman like that in danger.”

For some time, Frank Longbottom has been named the Most Eligible Bachelor by Witch Weekly. The attention brought to his numerous affairs occurred after a picture last month and a list that followed shortly after about his affairs with women. These women included the highly reputable Jackie Clark, as well as mother of Hogwarts student Gilderoy Lockhart, Gloria Lockhart.

The need to clarify the information was brought to a head by new president of the Frank Longbottom Fanclub, Balthazar Crouch, after he realized that the women in the club would be devastated. “I expected more than the women to be devastated,” he said. “The wizarding world needs an example of goodness and we get it through him. He’s our hero, all right.”

This rift in the system of faith could make it difficult to bring down the Death Eaters. Without the community unifying as a front so Frank Longbottom could defeat them without any question. This rift would force the Ministry to rigorously train someone else without the natural talents that Longbottom has to defeat them with a fourth of the same ease. Undoubtedly, the wizarding world would find itself in greater peril.

13th-Feb-1979 12:40 pm(no subject)
let me have a go at that!


Do not come if you fall under one of these categories:

Your name is Snivellus.
Peter broke your teacups and you're coming to kill him (both conditions count, otherwise, come have our free beer and steal all our teaups! we can buy more)
You're coming to steal my girlfriend (Three times there, Snivellus! Bet Malfoy will give you a proper gift in your arse all the same)

ALL AND ANY OTHERS ARE INVITED. This is one day for notice, I know, but who cares, really. IT'S FREE ALCOHOL, SOME OF THE BEST, FEEL FREE TO MAKE OFF WITH IT, Sirius has loads of money and so do I.
4th-Feb-1979 01:10 am(no subject)
fuck this shit


i am the man
the man the man the maaaan

kicked her under the tabel hope noone minds

extra smokes and free love in the loo to celebrreate my victory

Fabbbreian knock when you want your gift
and who can join in on that

i love you man
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